A long, dry season is hard on the land. The inhabitants struggle to survive. If nourishment doesn’t come, they wither into empty hulls. A wife can’t survive without water. Eventually, she lights a match. Divorce is a bad word in the Catholic faith, but doesn’t the death of a soul matter too?
I started the matrimonial-ending fire twelve years and three kids into a marriage approved by the Church. I’d been ringing the sirens for years. It didn’t matter how many Bible verses, prayers, or women’s groups I attended—my rescue never came.
I deserved to be watered.
My will to live burned stronger than the fear in my belly. I couldn’t survive in the overgrown, dry, brush-filled forest. I had to find myself among the weeds. It was time for a cleansing. I wondered, “Would my leather-scarred heart and black-charred soul find forgiveness? Or would I burn in hell?”
I lit the match.
The grasses ignited, and the winds whipped the fire into a frenzy—breaking the young hearts of my children and threatening me with a thousand acres of shame. I became their fire shield and assured them things would be okay. Tear-stained, heat-flushed faces held on, despite the wildfire that licked at our heels and teased our home with danger. The fire lines I worked hard to build held back the flames of destruction.
We survived.
It is scary when the fire rushes over the land and changes what we know—what we are comfortable with. But clay requires heat to become stronger. Tempering steel increases its sharpness. Spring brings green grass to feed the herds of elk after the forest burns, making the land stronger for the collective in the end.
A long, dry season may be hard on the land. Fire consumes what’s left.
But sometimes, it takes fire to bring the land—and a soul—back to life.
Do my words resonate with you? Talk to me. When we share our stories—honestly and without fear—we strip shame of its power. We start to feel less alone. Our truths, even the messy ones, create connection. They remind us we’re human, and that we belong. Right now, more than ever, we need that. We need each other. So if something in you stirs, don’t stay silent. Let’s remind each other we’re not alone.
