How It Started. How It's Going.
It's never too soon to let go of the guilt.
The image shows two photos side-by-side. Under the words, "How it started;" is a photo of Michele at 19 holding her baby boy. Their heads are close to each other as they look to the right, their eyes sparkling with hope. Under the words, "How it's going" is a photo taken 34 years later of Michele standing with her now grown son. She rests her head on his shoulder as they look directly at the camera, their eyes sparkling with love.
How it started:
She sat with her beautiful baby on her lap — holding onto her future, holding onto hope. A single mom at 19, she resolved to do better for him. To heal for him. To live for him.
His presence lifted her from the darkness where she saw no worth in herself, no purpose, no future. She had existed seeking love in all the wrong places, searching for approval in favors and sexy dances. She hid from her friends, believing them better than her. She felt shame for being a single mom, for relying on welfare, for not conforming to the ridiculous purity ideals of the 90s — no college degree, no respectable job, no saving herself for marriage, no breaking the generational cycles in her family. Her past traumas and shadows haunted her, threatening to shape her future.
Then he arrived, needing a mother. She vowed to give him more than she had received. In nurturing him, she found a reason to strive for more, to improve, to love herself for the first time. She took the first steps to heal.
How it’s going:
Now, she stands next to him, her head resting on his broad shoulder. The pride she feels for him is immeasurable. At 53, she’s still thankful to be his mom, they've overcome so much together. Despite all her personal growth, therapy, confronting her past, and career achievements, worries sometimes creep up from the recesses in her mind.
"Did I do enough? Was I good enough? Did I make mistakes along the way? Does he harbor any resentments? Does he secretly wish for a different mother? Does he understand how deeply I love him, just as he is?"
In those quiet moments, when she reflects on their journey, she marvels at his resilience, his kindness, and the man he has become. Every milestone, every success he achieves, fills her heart with joy and relief. Through the years, their bond has only grown stronger, a testament to the love and dedication that have guided them both.
"It’s because of you, mom." His warm brown eyes meeting hers, his voice filled with gratitude and love. In this moment, she feels proud of herself, too.
Well done, mom.