Where I’m From
I am from dark motels, foster homes
and houses where secrets hide.
Cigarette smoke and stale beer bottles
spilling from piles inside.
I am from sagebrush fields and potato farms,
where poor families glean to eat,
stealing corn in plastic bags
and shucking it to freeze.
I am from the Adams and the Woodruffs,
depression settlers from the East.
Blue Bonnet containers and plastic bread wrappers—
we didn’t waste a single thing.
I am from maternal abandonment,
My soul shaped by an incessant need
To fill the gaps for others—
The ones they’d never filled for me.
I am from a dead father,
A family found too late,
DNA matching cousins,
We’ve no stories to relate.
But if they want to know me, I’d say:
I am the Social Butterfly, my late uncle’s moniker for me.
The first in the family in college, my late grandma’s pride, indeed.
I am the big sister of Chris, my first mom-gig,
the one who takes care of hard things.
The body identifier,
and the last forgiver,
and last song singer,
and last breath keeper,
the last soul soother.
The last that was left
to bear the weight
and soothe the pain.
Be who I needed to be,
who took care of him and her and them,
despite my own needs.
Today, I’m still strong.
I’ve always provided for me,
Breaking chains and changing pain.
The shame though—
that fucking shame ends with me.
It was my honor on Saturday, March 1, 2025, to join
for her amazing “Where I’m From” series and read this poem. We talked about shame, human connection, sibling loss, and sharing our stories. You can watch this and many others on Instagram or YouTube (mine below).If you want to learn more about the Where I’m From project, check out Alyson’s Website and on her FEMME ON site.
If you are curious about the sibling loss community and the upcoming sibling loss anthology, check out the “Loss of A Lifetime” website as well as
on Substack.Last for today: be sure you see the award-winning movie, My Dead Friend Zoe, an amazing independent film now in some theaters (and soon to stream). While it is directly about veteran’s dealing with PTSD from loss and grief, the message it shares is for anyone experiencing the same. (I give extra credit points if you spot me as an extra in some scenes!)
How can you help support my writing? By subscribing for a free weekly essay; taking a minute to leave a comment and/or feedback; clicking the ♥ (like) and restacking (if you use the Substack app); and by sharing it with others via email and/or social media.
Hi, Michele. I don't know if your gift of being a social butterfly (as noted in your poem) was partly forged in the furnace of your challenging past, but it is a gem more precious than many people may realize. I, by contrast, had a fairly blessed family life while growing up, having little idea how hard it might be for some other kids in the various neighborhoods in which I grew up. But the one thing I lost upon leaving one of those neighborhoods was that same gift; I've felt the loss ever since. Rejoice in your gift! :-)
I, like Alyson, couldn't help but cry. I found it relatable in so many ways, and y'all are so right - everything is so close to the surface right now. Please make sure to take care of yourself, too, Michele. Your poem was a gift.
Oh, and the movie looks very good! I like all of the actors, too. I'll definitely be looking for it streaming.